But wait a minute; is there really any difference between my field and other ones? I mean, would I be satisfied if I studied something else? No I know I wouldn't be! Why? Because I used to love this field, and now that it's lost its freshness, it all seems so repetitive and ordinary to me.
As banafsheh pointed out, I think I have not found my #1 passion. I like anything that's new, but after the freshness is gone, so is my thrill and enthusiasm.
I'm not thrilled by the creativity involved with solving electronic circuits anymore. But at the same time, I am excited about my fields & waves course because it's not a continuation of anything I've studied before. I have become so enthusiastic about it! But then I say to myself: "You used to feel like that for other courses before, but not anymore! So why bother?" It's all so futile! Everything loses its freshness, doesn't it? And then it's all dull. I am almost certain that any other area would just become as dull as electrical engineering has become for me, if not more. It's just that I don't know anything about those areas and I feel like there's an unknown world that I want to discover. The mystery is calling me forward.
I don't see myself as being an engineer. I don't know what my life would be like in 10 years! I can't imagine myself in 10 years! Not even in 5 years! I mean, life is not school! It's not electrical engineering! It doesn't become dull and boring like my courses. Life is composed of moments, of friends, of those you love, of scenes you enjoy. Life is not (or at least, should not be) artificial.
Life is alive.
Satisfaction from work is also a part of life. But it's not life. It's always something to the side. Sometimes I feel so ambitious, I feel like I have so many goals in my life!! But at the same time, if you think about it, that's just my career accomplishment, and I have come to the conclusion that my career accomplishments will not be my life.
I need to define a vision for my life.
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1 comment:
salaaaam! khoobi? behet zang mizanam in rooza!!! hmm! kheyli moheme ke khodet ro masalan 5 saal dige too che jaaygaahi mitooni bebini. zang mizanam bishtar harf bezanim!!! bara farda 9 ta naghshe keshi daram! bia reshteye ma! ;) reshteye ma khoobe :) :D ghashang akhare zendegaaani!!! :D (tablighaat mioknam dige!) hala baham sohbat mikonim! inghadr karamo nakardam! raast migi bokonam ke miay berim gardesh! ya bezaram oomadi baham dorost konim?;)jk!
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